Dating Relationships & Marriage


3 Reasons Why Couples Struggle in Their Marriage Relationship
By Tiffany Godfrey

Married couples often find themselves in counseling or even divorce court because they can’t agree on major and minor issues within their marriage.

Both the husband and wife often come into the marriage with the expectation that their marriage will be perfect.

But when trouble and tough times hit, they often find themselves at opposite sides of the decision-making process. As a result, conflict occurs.

Conflict is normal and typical in every marriage, and the root of conflict boils down to unmet expectations.

But the problem occurs when couples cannot resolve their issues properly. When this happens, anger, frustration, and resentment ultimately come to a head. And the couple that once loved each other and called each other by “cute nicknames” can no longer stand to be in the same room together. Normally there are three areas of conflict where couples struggle in their marriage relationship.


1) Lack of communication

Communication is the manner in which two or more people connect. Communication comes in many forms, both verbal and non-verbal.

Some of the issues of conflict that come up in a marriage relationship include money, sex, the kids, in-laws, and their emotions, among others. When a husband and wife are unable to talk about these often sensitive, but major topics they often find themselves becoming disconnected and distant from one another.

2) Quality Time

With the demands of work, parenthood, ministry, and other activities, couples who struggle only find it harder to spend time together.

For couples who stay busy, it’s not the length of time that really counts, but it’s what the couple does during those precious moments together.

Unfortunately, however, when they do get time together, couples who struggle already, often only find time to argue and bicker about their problems instead of their love for one another. And for this reason, the love and intimacy fizzle out. Instead, their time gets defined by friction and strife.

3) Emotions

It’s human to experience feelings and emotions when a situation hits your marriage. There are some situations that can cause your emotions to override rational and Spirit-led decision-making. Examples include unemployment, sickness, adultery, etc.

Before you know it, something has been said or done based on emotions, rather than a clear, focused mind. And then nobody wants discuss anything or take a positive action because feelings are hurt and anger has defined the entire situation.

Many couples find themselves struggling in their marriages.

There are often three major reasons for the conflict:

• Lack of communication

• Quality time

• Emotions

If couples make the decision to work in these three areas of conflict, they can change the entire climate and culture of the marriage. However, if they choose to let these areas go unaddressed, they will find their marriage going down the drain and ending in emotional separation, legal separation, and ultimately divorce.

If you are married and struggling with communication, spending quality time with your spouse, and/or dealing with your emotions, don’t allow these things to tear you marriage apart. Get some help today. Learn to how to create a purposeful strategy for putting your marriage back on track, even if your spouse does NOT get help in the beginning.

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